Stories Mentor Children

The storylines we are exposed to shape who we grow to be.

Children who repeatedly hear how they are difficult are likely to embody that storyline.

Children who hear how they are a blessing, or gifted, will likely flourish.

Changing our children’s storyline doesn’t mean we ignore reality. Positive thinking will not change horrible behavior.

But we can mentor our children to return to the story they were made for.

When poor behavior comes out we can focus on who they were made to be, and how God sees them: His precious children, co-creators of goodness and co-redeemers of beauty.

When we do this we affirm the story of them as God’s People: stewards in His world. Ambassadors of His Kingdom.

Bringing our children back to this biblical storyline affirms their value – and the value of their distinct personalities and giftings.

As Westerners we tend to think Christian bullet-points grow our children: Doctrinal information and programs will convince our children to live as Christians. This is rarely the case. Information is not enough. Sunday and Wednesday is not enough.

The cultures of the world often win out because of their pervasive and convincing stories – and their incessant invitation to live out those stories.

Those stories are on our children’s bookshelf, they come from the library, what they watch, games they play, lyrics, all social media… Every story is telling our children how the world should be or could be. And who they could be in similar circumstances.

These stories typically undermine God’s ideal by merely telling a different story than His, and making it seem appealing – stories which don’t include whole and loving families, humility, self-sacrifice, goodness and redemption… Some of those stories fool us by telling a “redemptive” storyline, but excuses or justifies the poor behavior or choices of the main characters.

We do need to guard the stories we expose our children to – being most careful with young children, and having plenty of conversations with our older children as they move out in the world.

We can’t shelter our children forever. Nor should we. But we can return children at any age – God’s children – to their rightful place in His Kingdom story. The opportunity is given multiple times a day.

Try this:
When your children act out, correct the behavior. Then, cast a vision for the real story. Tell a story of how, next time, they can be creators or redeemers of goodness and beauty alongside of God. You might even invite them to practice a creative or redemptive solution with you.

Lastly, model this for them. Turn off the stories that are not your own. Let God lead you into the one that is.