God Owns Failure
Our parenting never goes as planned – even when we are, in Paul's words, “filled with the fullness of God”. [Ephesians 3:14-21]
Our best efforts can backfire. Our best laid plans often falter.
A visit with a child we planned to go one way, goes another. A disciplinary action – or words of affirmation – have no effect, or have the opposite effect. Our plan to engage our child deeply, never realized.
We imagine God looking over our shoulder, a little disappointed – expecting us to “do better” next time.
And yet, what if God has no such expectation? What if He actually causes us our efforts to “fail” – in human terms – in order to work something else into the equation?
Many have tried to work out and duplicate Paul’s missionary strategy. They scour the book of Acts to discover how he planned it. How he did it.
But consider with me, how many of the following things did Paul plan for?
Being blinded by God. Christians avoiding him because of his reputation. Fellow Jews trying to kill him, time and again. Disciples wanting nothing to do with him. Expelled from cities he visited. Stoned, so he ran away. Stoned again, thought dead, dragged out of the city. A heated argument with a fellow missionary – so they split up. The Holy Spirit preventing him from going where he intended – first in one place, then another. Beaten, jailed, until an earthquake set him free. Fled a city, again. In frustration with his own people he turned his attention to the Gentiles. In a vision, God told him to stay where he was. Began teaching en masse, but was frustrated into small-scale, relational discipleship. God bore witness to Himself using inanimate objects Paul had touched. God warned him of affliction in Jerusalem, disciples begged him “through the Spirit” not to go, the Holy Spirit used a prophet to warn him again – he went anyway. Once there, he fell from one crisis to another. He could have been released from prison and trial except he made a mistake by appealing. He was shipwrecked, then bit by a deadly snake.
Yet, God used all these things to expand His Kingdom – bringing people into it.
In our Western mindset of ‘ten steps’, ‘quick fixes’, and ‘programatic discipleship’, we selectively omit the above list in order to assemble a logical, human strategy – then publish it as “the way” to reach the world.
When all along, “the Way” is simply this: humbly obeying the Spirit’s prompting and anticipating good things from setbacks, since He governs all.
Parenting is no different. Bearing fruit comes down to listening to God in the present moment, following His lead, and letting Him do what He is intent on doing – especially glorifying Himself through our “failed” attempts.
God is not ashamed of our blunders. He is fully capable and willing to use them, more than we think possible. [Ephesians 3:14-21]
When you blunder, ask Him to use it. Ask what you can do to help Him bring fruit of it. Be suspicious that He may be behind it and is up to something greater.
Paul wasn’t afraid to blunder.
In fact, he likely penned Romans 8:28 with his own history in mind: We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. – Romans 8:28